Thursday, September 26, 2013

Where's The Beef?

I had breakfast in one of those Simply Life places the other day - well, it makes a change from the Mandarin or the Four Seasons (but isn't the "Four" redundant once you say "the"?).

I had the all-day breakfast, which means that it is available all day, not that it takes (like in some places) all day to arrive. Imagine my surprise when I found that the scrambled egg was made only of egg whites. To put it another way, it was egg, but effectively without the ckufing egg. What's that all about?

It can't be a health thing, as the breakfast includes tasty therefore unhealthy stuff like bacon and sausage. No, it must surely be a way of charging customers twice for the same egg. I'm not sure where the other half of the egg goes - maybe into egg-white-free omelettes - but, sure as eggs are eggs, it must be going somewhere billable.

FFS! Whatever next? Taste-free Cantonese food? Hang on a minute ....


  1. Ever wondered where the egg yolks in all those mooncakes come from? Well, now you know.

  2. Good point, PB. Though it doesn't make me like with mooncakes or egg-free omelettes any more.

  3. "........Imagine my surprise when I found that the scrambled egg was made only of egg whites......."

    Try as I might - and I try mighty hard - I just can't imagine it.

    How did you determine the composition?
    The colour?
    The taste? Is your palate that discerning?
    You obviously haven't imbibed enough baijiu yet if you can still taste, or see, egg yolk in a scrambled egg.
    Are you gwai lo?

    1. Indeed - the colour and the (lack of) taste. Also, leading up to that, the description on the menu, which might make you ask "Why did you order it, then"? I ordered it because it was that or the brown rice and because I'd never had an egg-free omelette before so didn't know how uneggy it would be.

      Am I gweilo? You can probably guess.

    2. ".........Am I gweilo? You can probably guess......"

      Quite so, and a Brit(1) to boot - if your spelling of 'colour' is an accurate representation of your command of The Queen's and not just typical westernised male, Caucasoid mimicking patronisation.
      Nyuck nyuck.
      "Gweilo"? I guess this is the proper transliteration of the phrase to reflect the Cantonese dialect? My experience with the language(s) of The Middle Kingdom is restricted to the Taishanese dialect and a smattering of Mandarin
      I am pseudo-jook-sing. 'Pseudo' because, although I am indeed 'bamboo' I am not Chinese - Burmese.

      (1) Or perhaps a Canadian heretofore unaffected by the vile juggernaut of Yankee cultural hegemony as it sweeps the innocent world.

  4. In my opinion (until I change it), things made of just egg whites are a bit gay. Not that there's anything wring with that, just that I don't want to swallow them. Egg white omelette, souffles, macaroons etc - you get the picture.

    Here's a cooking tip for you (you can thank me after you try it). The key to a proper man's scrambled eggs is to simply crack two whole eggs into a bowl (it's probably an idea to get your helper to do all this) then add in two more whole yolks. You can give the two spare egg whites to a gay friend.

    Chuck it all the frying pan on top of some olive oil and mix it around until cooked how you like it (still shiny is best). Add some parsley and a squeeze of lemon if you have it (yes, yes, I know this sounds a bit gay too but you're going to thank me for it).

    This will transform your scrambled eggs into a creamy delight.


    1. Transforming anything into a 'creamy delight' is so ghey!
      Though your suggestion as to what to do with the superfluous egg whites is both frugal and thoughtful - I commend you.
      Make sure you use extra-virgin olive oil though. If I've learned anything from that Jamie Oliver(1) guy it is this. Oh and that American woman I met in sixth form taught me this, "Cooking is chemistry. Chemistry is science. And science is, like, you know, totes hard!"

      (1) You know, that guy on the telly who replaces all his 'T's with glottal stops and possesses a tongue far too big for his pie-hole?

  5. Mr. Fumier,

    Post something new, will ya?
    I like it here. It seems to be populated with folks who possess properly functioning neural synapses, have a cosmopolitan world view and don't end their sentences with punctuation happy faces - or prepositions.
    Ending a sentence in a preposition is something up with which Sir Winston and I will not put!

  6. Wise words, all round, and thank you for the kind ones, Missy. You are absolutely right, of course.

    Mr. T, that looks like a fine recipe and my maid will be onto it like a maid in Wanchai on a Sunday afternoon. Your points about incipient gayness are well noted. Have you seen how many peeps in Central wear pink shirts at the weekend? Or how many "men" use umbrellas"? Eternal vigilance is required.