Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Shifting Sands

I had only just got over my bewilderment at the current AustCham ad on the Australian Channel, where they say they have been "flavouring" Hong Kong for 20 years, accompanied by a cartoon of someone pouring salt (or maybe pepper) over the Hong Kong skyline ("Flavouring", where did that come from?), when I received a circular from "Business Events Australia's Chinese outlet. The circular contains a storyette about a jolly to Australia's Gold Coast by over thousand Chinese delegates from Herbalife China.

Jerry Li, President, Herbalife China said, “When choosing Australia for the Herbalife Leadership Vacation 2012, we were attracted by its world-renowned culture of fun; its people, natural beauty, and its proximity to China.”

Its "proximity to China"? A mere 9 hours' flying time away?
Or is there perhaps some territorial claim brewing under which Alice Springs will be discovered to have always been an inalienable part of Chinese territory?

Monday, May 27, 2013

Graveyard Humour

My mole at the FCC, where the usual closed shop, no term limits, vested interest candidates have been re-elected under a system which the CCP would be well advised to copy, has drawn my attention to a gem in the letters page of the current issue of The Correspondent, the FCC's bi-monthly rag.

Kit Sinclair, wife of the late Kevin, wrote complaining that Kev's name is omitted from the 2008 (the year he died) list of obituaries. The editor of The Correspondent replied that this was "a grave oversight". I am sure that will make Kit feel better.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Bloomberg - Burger-Eating Racist Bastards

Bloomberg's current headline on Ford's decision to stop making cars in Australia is "Aussie dollar is villain as Ford end Mad-Max Land Output". Or "Mad-Max Country" if you look at their screens. If reducing an entire country, nay a continent, to the status of a violent movie caricature is not racist, I don't know what is.

And anyway, everyone knows that Australia is Rolf Harris Country.



Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Bring Me The Head Of Sergio Garcia

Golf, the game which pretends to be a sport, is introducing a ban on "belly-putting". Belly-putting is where golfers use their largest natural asset instead of their hands to control the putter, essentially anchoring it against their substantial gut and removing half of the difficulty of nudging a ball into a hole from a few feet away. I realise that any analogy between golf and sport is essentially flawed, but the equivalent might be for soccer players to be required to only use their feet. Shock! Horror!

The Royal and Ancient and the US Golf Association (i.e. the Brits and the Septics respectively) have, a mere 40 years after these cheat-sticks started to be used, come up with a 40-page report (that's an easy calculation!) justifying their decision to implement the ban, which comes into effect in only 3 years' time.

Golf club makers (although the specialised clubs are not themselves being banned, they would become redundant under the new rule, so no self-interest there, of course) had already made their opposing views known, claiming that it would reduce the attractiveness of golf, by ... err ... introducing some sort of skill or requiring people to be in some sort of physical shape other than round, either of which would be too much of a hurdle for the average lard-arse. Call me controversial but I believe that's where watching golf on TV, or its close cousin, sleeping on the sofa, fit in.

In other golf news, Sergio Garcia has stirred up outrage amongst the PC brigade by suggesting that an American might like fast food. At some sort of golf awards dinner (largest belly, most horrific trousers?), Garcia - whose dislike of the hooker-chasing Tiger Woods is well-known - was asked if he would invite Woods for dinner in the US next month: hardly a serious question. Garcia replied that he would do so every night and would offer fried chicken. Apparently, this is racist. FFS! Fried chicken is an American staple, exported around the world to the delight of gourmands everywhere. Surely offering someone their national dish is the height of hospitality? If someone said they would offer me curry and chips, I would be delighted.

Compare and contrast with the following recently sent by the French and British Chambers in an invitation for a joint networking event:


Or is that racist too?